Neglect

I was neglected no one ever talked to me
My mom left me dehydrated by my self on a mattress covered in my own piss
I was 4 or 3 back then and I remember I was dizzy
Couldn't get up no one could have saved me
My own mother would yell at me when I peed the bed but just let me sit there in my own piss all alone dehydrated
She my own mother left me in the bath tub by myself when I wasnt even a year old
Not even a year old covered in bandages
She told me that she had other things that were more important in her life to do then pick me up
She gave my gifts to my little sister if I wasn't there
She threw me away ,neglected me  and broke me till there was nothing left
Now I neglect the things I have
I take the people I love for granite and hurt them
My mom says she loves me when it only benefits her
I hurt the people I love with my words because that's all that I'm used to
I gave up along time ago on dreams and making new friends
I don't plan on staying alive till I'm 50 or even 30
I just want to die
No one loves me
I am all alone
I won't shed a tear because I excepted that I'm alone and no one cares nor gives me the time of day
I hate myself for hurting other but when they do it to me its OK and they'll be alright
My step sister hits me calls me ugly and doesn't even care
My little sister used to hate me and make my life a living hell
When I lived with my mom she wouldn't let me sleep in the living room and didn't buy me a bed so it was the floor or the old bed that you could feel the springs in
I didn't sleep on the floor cause it was degusting so I slept on a bin
And I didn't have a blanket nor a pillow so I would just sleep curled up in a ball on a bin
See my mom doesn't care she won't even answer the phone for a month straight nor pick me up
I give up I'm done OK so if this blog stops its not my fault its theres