Wishing?

Why do we wish for things that we know we wont come true. Is it that wishing is the only thing that keeps in a calm set of mind? Do we love just because  we need someone to pick us up when we have fallen? Well I shall not love no one. I shall not fall for your smile or the smiles that you try to put on my face. Falling for anyone is deadly like poison. Is Faking a smile the only way that we can make it through the day? Well I am not gonna fake a smile just because that's what other people want.

Hold Me Close

  If you don't hold me close Ill surely slip away. If I really am something to you then you will not let me go so easily. Please don't let me go hold me tight for I cant ever go anywhere. If you love me you wont give me to another. I f I was important at all you would try to see me no matter what it took. if you knew me well then  you would not try to show off you would know that I like you just the way you are and that no one could take your place. surely you knew that I actually liked you it wasn't just some middle school crush.
  If the one I liked before( my first love ) would have known these things before then he wouldn't be part of my past or the sad memories. So please hold me tight and make this love last or whatever you might call this.
  Hold me tight so I wont fall when I'm finally this high up in the sky. If I shall give you my love then you cannot let me go. Please promise that you'll fight for me instead of letting me go.
                              Hold me close please.

Im The Flower Of The Universe

No Love Allowed

Someone call 911. I'm dying. Him in my mind drives me crazy. I want it all to go away now. No love allowed. He don't feel the same, so I shouldn't'. Him being interested in me was all in my head.
   Trying to get over the past is hard. I want to lose all contact with him but another part wants to keep it all. Keeping it all isn't an option.
   I want to stop writing and thinking bout him. What happen to everyone else. I only talk to one girl from the there.
   I was finally forgetting about him abd then he texts me when my phone is on 2% and says "hi u haven't texted me in a month". Well he hasn't texted me in a month either. Why did he have to do that.
  He drives me crazy. He was the  first person I actually considered to trust(I trusted). He made me believe in boys again. After all the shit I've been through I was counting on him to fix me and he did. And that's why I miss him so much. But now I realized I'm just the past to him nothing more. He has forgotten about me and replaced me( or was I the replacement). Like I thought. I was just going to be replaced.
    I hated all men/boys because one boy pissed on my, and told everyone in school. They all laughed at me. I felt so alone. One guy did that to me and that made me hate them all. I'm just like my father for that. My dad hates all women cause some fucked him over. But everyone will fuck you over sooner or later.
    So no love allowed. Cause when I fall in love you'll just hurt me.

Remembering February

I usualy don't remember anything about a month but it was different this year. I remembered how many days February had in it and I remembered what day it was on a certain date. February was a month I lost what I finally had. Good bye February. ��

Its soo sad

Suicide amv (Colorful amv): http://youtu.be/m8alZd7emPA

I Gave up

      I didnt try I just gave up. I didnt fight for a single thing. I just gave up. I have no right to shed a tear. I didn't wanted it to end but it did and I knew it would. I was thinking there was a chance but there wasn't. I didnt care enough to try and now I miss it so much.
    People say he missed me but he didnt make the effort to see me, he doesn't text me anymore.  So much for missing me when you never.liked me. It gets me so mad. I gave up on everything I wished it would all fall apart. Im a bad person. I don't care about anything bit myself.