I realised that I gave up on being a good person when he gave up on me. I keep falling, there is a war taking place in my mind. Now its time for me to stop falling and finally hit the ground. And when I hit the ground I shall build a ladder to climb back up. I dont think I was ever up just falling. Maybe I was almost up at the top. I needed soneone to help me climb and I found that person who made me realize that u had given up. I am very thankful. The war is over and I shall be ok. I haven't known him for long but I know that me liking him made me see that I gave up on everything. Like my looks. U would had walked outside butt naked on Friday if I hadn't met him. Ive stopped thinking how much I hate lifw and started to cherish it not abhor it. Thanks to the guys whi have gaven up on me. Who said I wasnt worth it and the people I dont even know but talk crap. Suicide is not the way and putting scars on your skin wont ease the pain. I thought it was love but I dont know what love was. What I was missing was my dreams of he future. He gave up on me when I wanted him not to. I thought thats what I wanted. But if I think aboit it I was depressed and alone, yesterday I was too. And yet now im not when its 4am and everyone is sleeping. If I had stayed in west Mifflin I would have never learned how to heal my wounds. Im done trying to make myself think its ok when it wasn't. I hate life ok and I cut myself when I feel dead and sad. I think of killing myself. But dont we all. I think my best when Im sitting in a dark room becaise thats when my lies are hidden and I can think straight. I dont want to give up on life and Im gonna dream again. Si thanks you assholes wjo gave up on me and acted like you would replace me of forget me. Thanks you bastards.
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