Summary Of My Life

Ok well I dont know where to know begin. Maybe that my name is Bri. I am 13 years old and turning 14 in August. I have only had 4 boyfriends in my whole life.
  #1Was I jerk that I havent seen in a while
  #2Was a jerk. He was bald and whore glasses
   #3Was amazing dude who I lasted saw on February 14 but he gave up on me when I moved not that far away
   #4Was a high schooler who I had my first kiss with
    I love watching anime and reading manga. I will be going to a Anime Convention in Florida this weekend. I like reading yaoi manga. I know alot about anime, I just cant remember the characters names for alot of shows.
     I like being alone. People tend to hit me alot. I hate people for that reason. I hate myself for being weak. Im scared of most people but I cant sense the good people. When I let my guard down thats when people tend to hurt me.
     I move alot so Im no giid at making friends. Im moving to Chicago at the end of the school year.
     Im in the 7th grade. When I was 6th grade I got pissed on by a boy and he told everyone at school wjat he had done. People I didnt even know asked me about it and laughed. I was so sad. But it didnt hurt.
      I live with my dad and my step mom. When I first started rhis blog I lived with my dad and grandmother. Back then my dad had a 20 year old girlfriend and he started to not care more and more.
      My mom doesn't really care for me at all. And I sent my mom 3 letters that said some real me stuff in it.
  Yaz is my step sister. She hits me a lot and gets an attitude with me all the time. I don't really like her but I feel like I owe her. She harasses me and pretty much does every thing to male my life a living hell. I have known her since I was 5 years old. She's two  years younger than me. She is another reason I want to kill myself.
     Now for Tonya she is my step mom. I knew her ever since I was 5. She met my dad when he worked at Denny's. She doesn't like my grandma because my grandma doesn't buy her kids stuff and she only buys me and sometimes booboo stuff. She and my dad make me move every year. Her and my dad break up every year. The longest they lasted without breaking up is probably 10 months but those 10 months are filled with horrible fights. She is another reason I wanna kill myself. She treats me different from her kids and blames me for my grandma not buying her kids stuff. She always brings it up.
     My dad has fucking screwed me over soo much its crazy. I hate my life so much. When I finally make friends I move. When things get bad with Tonya me and my dad move out. I have been abandoned so many times by Tonya that I have given up. My real mom abandoned me and won't call me. I feel sometimes that it would have been better if I wasn't born. My real mom and my step mom don't love me and just abandon me in the end. I hate Tonya and my real mom for that. I have cut myself before. I am depressed and u don't think I'll ever recover. Now tomorrow I will be moving to another state. I have to now break up with my boyfriend. I hate moving. My mom hasn't called me once and not even my little sister. I won't be able to see them in till I'm 16. I don't wanna move and the only reason we are doing it is because Tonya doesn't want me getting anything from my grandma and we are moving in with Tonya's family. I won't be treated fairly at all and my dad will act like he doesn't notice but he does. Then I'll probably just kill myself. Or run away.
     Well thays all my summary for now .

A Declaration Of War On Loneliness

I realised that I gave up on being a good person when he gave up on me. I keep falling, there is a war taking place in my mind. Now its time for me to stop falling and finally hit the ground. And when I hit the ground I shall build a ladder to climb back up. I dont think I was ever up just falling. Maybe I was almost up at the top. I needed soneone to help me climb and I found that person who made me realize that u had given up. I am very thankful. The war is over and I shall be ok. I haven't known him for long but I know that me liking him made me see that I gave up on everything.  Like my looks. U would had walked outside butt naked on Friday if I hadn't met him. Ive stopped thinking how much I hate lifw and started to cherish it not abhor it. Thanks to the guys whi have gaven up on me. Who said I wasnt worth it and the people I dont even know but talk crap. Suicide is not the way and  putting scars on your skin wont ease the pain. I thought it was love but I dont know what love was. What I was missing was my dreams of he future. He gave up on me when I wanted him not to. I thought thats what I wanted. But if I think aboit it I was depressed and alone, yesterday I was too. And yet now im not when its 4am and everyone is sleeping. If I had stayed in west Mifflin I would have never learned how to heal my wounds. Im done trying to make myself think its ok when it wasn't. I hate life ok and I cut myself when I feel dead and sad. I think of killing myself. But dont we all. I think my best when Im sitting in a dark room becaise thats when my lies are hidden and I can think straight. I dont want to give up on life and Im gonna dream again. Si thanks you assholes wjo gave up on me and acted like you would replace me of forget me. Thanks you bastards.

Well.

Well I'm in a sticky situation I'm not sure what I should do anymore. it's hard to deal with this life I don't understand what I have to do to get into a guy's mind. I like I just want to be noticed you never can be I'm like a shadow of yazmen and she's a little sister and like I'm sad because went to my school before her , and I have less friends then her that's kinda pathetic if you think .about it abhor it